Underneath the Stars .

Saturday, August 30, 2008

因为，有些人，错过了就是错过了　　　　　　　　　　　　而你，则是我，不愿错过的那个人。

7:07 AM

我应该开始学着如何站起来，但我不行。
我应该慢慢小心翼翼从新振作，但我办不到。
我应该学着如何成长，但我不会。
我应该别再卦念着过去，而式着想像未来，但我不能。

好久好久没有这伤心了，自从零一年吧。
你是第二个让我如此难过的女人。
我没后悔爱过你，也没后悔爱上你。
我只是感到有一些些的遗憾，我没能和你一起走到最后。
我觉得感叹的是，我没能给你你所应有的幸福。
我曾说过，要给你很多很多，你很久没得到的幸福，但我没法遵守我的承诺。
我曾说要带你去很多很多的地方，给你快乐，可是我没机会了。
我曾说以后我们家要有你喜欢的东西，养你喜欢得狗狗，可是这承诺也无法完成了。
我每次说找到我这种这样好的男朋友是你的好运，但是现在我收回这句话。
还记得第一次从兵营里出来时，我们是多莫的粘着。

因游戏，我俩有缘相遇。
在游戏里，我俩有缘认识对方。
在误打误撞的情形下，我俩有机会接近对方。
而在爱神丘比特的选择之下，我俩相爱了。
能够和你在一起，我很的觉得好幸福。

我还记得，我第一次试着牵你的手的情形，那画面很好笑，很温馨。
你所喜欢的一切我都切切记在心里，你所不喜欢的我都尽量不做。
你难过的时候，我也和你一起感到难过。
还记得有一次因一些事儿不开心，我好担心，工作也不去，直奔你家是为了看看你状况。
也因此才会有detergent的诞生。
我总喜欢你那带笑的脸孔，很温馨，同此我也能却定，和我在一起你是开心的。
我不会忘记你很喜欢用dar dar来激怒我，让我吃醋。
你曾说过我是比dar dar重要，听了我真的很开心。
你也曾说过，要和我一起度过每一次的情人节，但很遗憾地说，我想是没这机会了。
还记得我们常你家附近荡秋千吗？好怀念那段日子。

我怀念的是你的笑容
我怀念的是你的身影
我怀念的是你的声音
我怀念的是你的温柔
我怀念的是你的关心
我怀念的是你的天真
我怀念的是你的可爱
我怀念的是你的甜美
我怀念我们一起度过的每一天
我怀念的是你的一切一切。

我们的故事是在二零零六年九月二十五开始，而在二零零八年七月十一日告个了断。
在那在一起的六百五十五天，或是一年九个月又十六天，我真过的很开心。
因为有你。
这些日子以来，我过的很开心，很满足，很幸福。
有你在我身边，我总觉得很安心，很快了。
谢谢你给了我这么美好的回忆。

如果时间能再来，我会再选择爱上你。
但在下一次我希望我能做个更好的男朋友。
我不知我们有没有机会重逢，但我希望我真的能再做一次你的男朋友。
再有一次能爱你，呵护你，关心你，给你幸福。
我真的很像你。

你是否也像我一样在想你。

坏天气，坏心情。

6:22 AM

原本还以为今天的心情很好，很开心。
谁知到，我不会解释，但我现在的心情是遭透了。
设么事都不想想，设么事都不想做，我的心好乱。
真的比死还难受，我想死。
当真。

Monday, August 25, 2008

23.

4:33 PM

23 a very nice and unique number ,

The starting date for LEO.
The jersey number for David Beckham.
The jersey number for Micheal Jordan.

Seem how suddenly i can't relate it anymore to other stuff.
well the number 23 is special for me TODAY.
if thing were the same we would be celebrating our 23 month tgt le.
duno if u still remember or you have forget about it.
my hearts feeling heavy , tears getting heavier.
my mind is empty , emotion is flowing.
time is ticking , second by second,
earth is revolving, round and round,
everything seems to be moving , yet i seems still struggling to move.
on date it seems long , in heart it seems like a yesterday thing.
i had a great fall , a painful and a real hard fall.
night without you is different, i tried to adapting yet i can't
life without you is different, someone important is missing
sat without you is different, no movie, no arnold, nothing
everything seem different, still trying . . . . . . hard

thank god i have friend around me. real nice friend.

Do you know?
if only we were still tgt today will be our

23 months together
100 weeks
700 days
16,800 hours
1,008,000 minutes
60,480,000 seconds

those number should be moving on increasing
but yet they stopped , staying still
suddenly remember 2 word , "someone else"
my heart ache , worst off than running ahm
pricked by thousand of needle , bang down by a 10 wheel truck
my mind went emptied , lost , sad , emotion-ed , heart breaking
were my feeling that time.

feeling superb emo . gg go airport to fulfill a agreement i made den book in.
hope u are doing well , smile more , i missed the way u always laugh .

I still misses YOU

Finisher of 21km AHM.

12:35 PM

Had a very good nice sleep last night! Wonderful , amazing , nice sleep! Ran 21km AHM yesterday , i <3 running more and more , my passion for running is there. The night b4 the run was funny , the whole bunk suppose SLP at 8pm , yet till 11pm lots of us are still awake and ended up have to play PS2 to make ourselve tired. Lols Think i only manage to sleep at 1+ and very soon after at 2.45 my phone rang , my buddy gave me morning call. thanks so much =P.

Reach Padang at freaking 4am plus. Well it's my virgin participating such a big running event , was pretty amaze with how things are going and the amount of participant. The only bad thing is the muddy field, heart ache when my $135 shoe sink slightly in those muddy spot , lols.

Flagged off at 6.30 ba , ran most of the run all alone. The person i saw most is Cydric throughout the race. Yeah i ran finish the 21km wif FLU . Tmd while running still need to control my PI TI just in case they flow down lols , but maybe is because of the flu virus my stiches is on MC too. Didn't really have any problem running , everything was fine expect at the 19 to 20km mark was very very weak ( about to faint condition) , but luckily i didnt stop if not i woulden't have such a nice timing. Did it in > or = 2 hour time , just great to be a finish of 21km. Actually i can finish the race without stopping and so much will i must also thanks to "her" , been telling myself that "she" will be at the ending point , run for LIFE , run for myself and run for "her".

I need to thank NQB and his Ops Warrent to send me home with free transport till woodland. It's fast. hahas after that went home showered , change and went out to prepare the steamboat for my beloved - BUDDY TSQ! haha. was so so tired while preparing but luckily i manage to endure pass it . =)
I hope every who present enjoy the steamboat session ! Nqb , Cql , Tsq , Ozq , Yyw , Nhq and lady boss! My brother was there too , the clicking isn't hard pretty easy. Enjoed the dinner together with them and the gathering seem so warmly. lols.

Risked a little life last night sitting on Nqb car. =P maybe is the jerky and the aftermath of AHM made him feel sleepy that why he can't really drive smoothly. More drive more experience will be a good driver. jia you Nqb . Actually i envy those with license . lols ok. Shall stop here.

I <3 running

Saturday, August 23, 2008

3:46 PM

Hurt , naive me . No one is the blame expect me. Sigh. I still need time , lots of it. superb emo afternoon for me.

2:46 AM

In Request of Mr NQB . Here's Mine

What Wong Teck Meng Means

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.You are confident, self assured, and capable.

You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

It's another day.

1:05 AM

Well today is another day. Went out to meet my poly friend , saw them meet up chat chat and dig out some happy old past memories. =D Yesterday was my buddy birthday. Once again i wished her a Happy Birthday Buddy!

Was feeling sick these few days. Started with fever of 37.8 degree on Wed , den to sore throat on Thus and lastly flu on Friday. Damn bad , It's been long since i really feel so sick and so weak. >.<>

Went out for a run with QB & Kenneth. It was a fruitful and fun run , didn't really run with fast pace but did try pushing during the last part of the run. With the mindset of " She's waiting at the ending point" , that's always motivate me to push myself hard. Stiches still come after me today shortly after starting running , bad but manage to overcome it in the end.

Discover something amazing on thus , saw her shoutout @ friendster = my background song. It was so coincidence ! Really , the lyric is the same as the song which i like alot. I discover this song orginally from another person blog , but didn't expect her to get to know this song too. I wonder is she feeling the same she wrote on her shoutout. It really made me wonder , to me i DO feel that way. I hope she does feel that way too. Feel like trying but fear , fearing of what the outcome may be. I Miss You =)

To the very last of the post , oh ya wished to thanks my best friend NQB for introducing chinese novel to read , it's nice meaningful shall post some quote from the book next time .

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

42.195 .

8:46 PM

O.o very long nv update liao. Actually i wonder is there anyone reading my blog anot. Lols Pretty plan week , feeling sick now.
3 Up coming run.

21/08/08 - Army Half Marathon 21KM
31/08/08 - Nike Human Race 10KM
07/12/08 - Standard Charter Full Marathon 42.195 KM

Was quite reckless to sign up straight for the 42km marathon without any thinking. Now doubting myself whether i can finish the race anot but heck . I really <3 running.

Wat to say. I still have Emo night. Sleepless Night . Boring night . etc etc i duno why i just can't get to sleep every night. I am trying very hard , really all my friend , trust me ok? Give me a little bit more time . I think i can do it. But till that time arrive , i still missed her. Sigh!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

3:54 AM

Just came back from Boon Yong 21th brithday chalet , have a fun time there seeing lots of my secondary friend. Those were the days. Had a breaking record , played 6 or 7 round of mahjong thru the night , around 16 hour ba. loLx. Only sleep for like 2 hour for these 2 days. Have a little drink just now , good enjoy kinda love wab ppl =) find them easy going.

So qiao that i saw Jin Xing ( Xm best friend) at the chalet too! Asked Jx how is she doing , and is she happy anot. Think she is happy now ba. yahx , i really hope she is happier than before. Sigh.

Nth much. Need to exercis more. =) I need a wider circle of friend. anyone to intro their friend to me? lols =) tks everyone for reading =P my boring blog.

Monday, August 11, 2008

3:49 PM

Short Simple post.
Bad weekend , was called back for yesterday's guard duty thanks to somemore.
Feeling extremely emo now. Nothing Much bad day. Sweet and Sad Memories
Hope she is happy right now. =\

I misses YOU. I really did.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

You made the Run possible.

11:29 AM

Well , well its been so long since i updated , so much things happened to me on these few days. Lets start from

5-8-2008 Tuesday

This is the one of the most depressing , sadden and emoed night that i have. Seriously, i was stunt , dumb and don't know what to react really. Maybe i shoulden't have get back home and online so i won't be happened to see the message.

6-8-2008 Wednesday

Oh ya , mentioned that i was home last night , was given permission home because i was representing my unit for a cross country run ^^ , only 3 from our companywas selected for the race i was one of them together with 2 other ( qing lun and Gabriel ) totalled up to 6 from our whole unit. Went Macritchie at 1pm , my first time running over there.

Today i ran with a mindset very different from what i used to tell myself ," Normally i would tell myself to run on pace which i think i can complete the route." but for this race i started with a quite a face pace. Didn't really think i can finish it with my starting speed. Luckily i tried forcing myself and the thought of " She's waiting at the ending point , WTM u can do it , if u wanna see her just continue and don't stop!!!"

Overall run result is good , of the whole division ( around 150+ people) i ran on 73 placing. 1 behing Qing lun . Quite a happy result for the 5KM run with a timing of 20 min. Quite a nice timing i did for myself and i saw horrbile people running with only 15 min 26 sec. I really wonder how they did that , but neverless content with my own result. Heres some picture taken.

The 6 of us from our unit.

The 3 Representative from our company.

Thanks to you. I believed in finishing the race fast and I will be able to see u at the ending point. =) You made me finish it with such a remarkable timing which I am so proud of myself too.

Monday, August 4, 2008

7:53 PM

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
My love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
My love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When it's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
My love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
My love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you wander off too far, I'll be there for you.
If you follow the wrong star, I'll be there for you.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
I'll be there for you.
Ger, I'll be there for you.

If the bright lights blind your eyes, 'll be there for you.
If your troubles break your stride, I'll be there for you.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
I'll be there for you.
Ger, I'll be there for you.

If you ever feel ashamed, I'll be there for you.
When it's only you to blame, I'll be there for you.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
I'll be there for you.
Ger, I'll be there for you.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
I'll be there for you.
Ger, I'll be there for you.
Ger, I'll be there for you.

Ok i admit pretty bored in camp thus i did this. Here for the link of the video.
actually , just find this song meaningful. Hope my friend enjoy =D.

6:20 PM

hihi all , haha in camp now ok and i took the effort to come and blog! ok maybe its the starting that why i am so hardworking , maybe in the later date thing will be different. MAYBE . . .

Today is just another pretty normal day with nothing much happen . OK! the 10km run, i ran a timing of 57min (pretty slow) but pretty happy cause i don't feel real exhausted after the run but i think injured my right ankle, feeling painful every now and then when i walk.

Didn't really have enough sleep last night , think i slept only at 4+ am. Was smsing NQB and had a slight chat wif jenno. Well just wanna say to my dear friend out there , sorry. I know i am being stubborn , i know some of you care for me but I just can't let go or rather i don't wish to let it go. She is just so IMPT to me already , I know the outcome will be nothing but I just don't wish to give up. It may sound dumb , foolish to some of you. OK! I admit , i am foolish , i am dumb. I know it's xin ku and suffering but i just wanna have her in my heart. Just wanna say.

I miss you!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

6:37 PM

Bad day today , just came back from dinner at 768. Discover that my favourite Yong Tau Fu is gone >.< . Think most probably closed down le ba , didn't know they changed new stall owner and dumbly tried the new stall.
- bad service attitude
- was FORCE to pick 7 type of ingredient
- the laska gravy sux and comes with weird taste
- cost me a total of $4.50

yet i didn't finish everything , was so disappointed , wanna avoid wasting the money and forcing myself to finish only the ingredient but in the end i gave up. Very disappointed , i think i only eat 1/4 of the whole bowl. To anyone reading this , don't ever eat the Yong Tau Fu @ 768 ok! Misses the old style which they fry your ingredient on the spot to have the crispy feel xD. Anyone know of any Ytf stalls that does that now?

Gonna book in soon , leaving home early today cause will be making a trip down to Novena to collect Ernest running shoe for him. Did particularly nothing much , boring person with a boring life blogging a boring blog and poor u reader reading my boring blog xD.

Missing those old time when i would call her and asked "Should i eat Mac or Long John for dinner ar"? Normally she would scold me for disturbing her with such lame question and make a quick decision for me , but at 70% of time , the ending choice of mine will be different from the choice she choose for me. lols there i get scolded again for asking and end up choosing another. =( I felt quite sad too , the Yong Tau Fu was her's and my favourite. Perhaps that fate ba , I'm still not quite use to not having u around , wondering how are you doing? Are you happy and enjoying ur life now? Will you forget about me? >.<

12:42 AM

Today is a SAT , didn't anything much for today . Went out for a movie , some strolling around small tiny SINGAPORE. Feeling pretty bored , so decided to update a little while watching soccer ( Arsenal vs Juv ). My fav Arsenal is losing 0 - 1 >.<KELONG lineman which allows a clear OFFSIDE goal from Juv. Damn it! lols

Think I'm too used to being occupied and going with her on my every SAT. It makes me don't feel like staying home on sat nowadays. Went movie @ Plaza Sing, watched Money Not Enough 2.
- A pretty typical Singapore home-made movie which reflects the behaviour and mindset of singaporean? ( In my opinion)
- A very funny show which laugh me off . =)
- Few sad scene which bring me some sad memories which made me shed tears >.<
- A ridiculous >20 yr old girl act as a 25 yr old doctor

overall i would rate it 3.5 /5 for the whole movie itself but 4.25 /5 for the joke in the movie ^^.

Yahx saw huiying (Cousin from my mother side) today! Its quite unexpected , normally i would get to see her only once per year ( CNY period ). Met up with Ernest in the evening , he's getting a running shoe , went New Balance at RC and he got a pair of 1224 ( awesome)! I would like to get that pair too, but upon trying i find the arch support kinda pain for my feed , maybe will be going for a pair of 768 for my AHM run =).

Karen Mok - Ru Guo Mei You Ni. This song leave a very deep impression in my heart , maybe it explain my feeling , the lyric is meaningful. I just loves this song , really. Well enough of my crapping , hope you reader don't find my blog boring =) . Nights

Friday, August 1, 2008

My 1st post.

10:47 PM

Hello all! This is my very 1st post of the blog , acutally i was thinking do i really need a blog? Will i update it regularly even i have a blog? Lots of question flooded my mind but eventually a conclusion came to my mind which a blog will first allows me to complain , whine about everything here without having to hear negetive comment which i don't wish to get . Secondly i won't like have to disturb friends of my , keep disturb and irritate them . hahas i think it's sooner or later i'll get black listed by them.

Today i ran a 14 Km run , complete it in 76min , quite happy with my own result and also manage to convince MO (Medical Officer) to allow me to participate in the upcoming 21km AHM run in which my medical status only allow me to run only 6km( wtfs !) lols. Think i didn't do enough warm up end up causing a bit of aching on my leg ( painful >.<) . But hope it recover by Monday as there will be a 10Km run which i don't wish to miss. Life have been bad for me these 2 days , having sleepless night and the blog of those 2 person (Wen & the gf of the Brunei ICT) touches me the most , tears shed , feel heart ache for them but there's nothing i can do to help . Life is unfair ! Yahx just hope that life will be better for them at the on-coming future. Actually i am feeling v v STRESS, worrying about lots of stuff too much to be mention . Just hope thing to get better.

Labels: Stress.